Today I want to share a little of my memoir. Part of chapter one if you like it pleasse feel free to buy it in Amazon or read it in kindle unlimited. Be sure to leave a review.
Chapter One: A little bit of my roots and where I came from. To get to the age of where I began to have an official diagnosis, we have to start at around age ten. So up until this point my mother told me a story about my dad. That he was a good man and he just had a bad temper so he had to live somewhere else but about every two weeks dad would write us a letter one for mom and she would give me my letter. So, the day came to have my birthday party even though I had already turned ten years old. I didn’t know that this birthday would be one that I’d never forget. My dad came to visit for my birthday I was in my treehouse with my cousin’s eating pizza. My mom came to the treehouse and told me to come to meet my father. I was so super excited until after the party was over because I had experienced my parent's first fight and soon would learn that when he got mad, he would hit my mom. Since I lived down the road from my grandparents, I climbed out of my bedroom window and ran down to my grandparent’s house. I ran in screaming he is hurting my mom. My grandma told me to go into the kitchen with her the help finishing making dinner. I heard a gun go off, so I covered my ears and prayed to God to save my mom. My father was arrested and would go back to jail for four more years.I came home from school one day and my mom had made my favorite meal and had bought me a new book one that I really wanted. So, I knew that a serious conversation was coming, and I got scared. I had my first fight with my mom where I cussed at her went into my room for six or eight hours. The next at school my best friend could tell that something was upsetting me. I told her that my bulimia had come back and that I had found a razor blade and cut my wrist. She went and took me to the bathroom and gave me her jacket told me that if any adult or kid were to tell about my cut that I would get into trouble and might get taken from my mother. So, I learned to hide my cuts and to keep it a secret. Later on, I would learn that as much history as I and she were going to have in the four years would leave me wounded and questioning myself worth. In middle school at the end of seventh grade I came out to my friends as a bisexual and that I was scared to tell my mom. My friend we name her Ericka for the sake of this book.She became someone I leaned on and soon when I became comfortable, she became my girlfriend. After two years and countless hours, she would become one of the teens who got pregnant from a one-night stand. When she had to drop out of school. I was lost for a few weeks until I began to have a crush on, we will name him Jacob. I began to get into a bad addiction to smoking marijuana and began the skipping class. We would find empty places inside the school to hang out in while we should have in class. After two months of doing this, I began to get in trouble because I was failing band class. So, I and Jacob had a week of in-school suspension where instead of the social aspect of school you get to sit in one room without your cellphone and do your schoolwork all day long. Needless to say I was hanging out the best group of people at the time.Our parents try to protect us as much as they can but honestly, they have no clue what truly goes on useless we tell them. As I said previously this is my story in a raw from being told to you because after so many years of struggling, I choose to take the big step to reach out for help. By the day of my 16thbirthday I had two od’s from going to a type of party called a “farm party” which is basically “An outdoor party in rural areas, usually including a bonfire, where invitees raid their parents medicine cabinetsand combine them all into a big potto share. Users frequently take "handfuls" at a time and wait for the unknown rush to hit them.” I didn’t know that I had taken somewhere around 200 pills along with a few beers. I thought this was so cool until I woke in the hospital after a week of being in a coma. When I came to the look on my mom’s face scared me. So why did I go to another one of these parties the following year? Honestly, because it was cool that I had od and survived to my friends.If anyone ever encourages you to take a pill that you don’t know what it’s don’t risk your life to be cool. Our parents aren’t supposed to be burying us we are supposed to bury them. After I OD the seconded time the same way. I was sent to a therapist to talk about my feelings. I hated that because it will have been used against me when I was 16 years old and was put into the hospital for self-harming myself, I tried to cut my wrist in the bathtub. My mom walked in the bathroom just as I was fading into the light. All of this because the boy I had been dating for few months broke up with me. That was the third attempted I had made on my life. Also, the moment when most of my family decided to give up on me.
Link to my memoir: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08F21YL3Z/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_dp_x_oIhlFb99AMXP7
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